{"id":38460,"title":"One for Sorrow","description":"A break-up, a magpie and a dream.","content":"

\"xedwvkb3hf4gjzepgyvsa3iqwgjjvge8lymngc1mccztgdvk.jpg.jpg?w=1140&v=2\"I have explored the symbolism of the feather frequently throughout the evolution of this body of work, that I call Birds Can Fly.\u00a0<\/p>

\"igul3xdld1mxxfhl8pjk8j5tpwfd5p1ak6k8oi7fqftgcseh.jpg.jpg?w=1140&z=2.000000000000001&fx=0.4959670569606045&fy=0.49998578026048246&v=2\"Above the feathers I have drawn, explore their stories and products <\/em><\/strong>here.<\/u><\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>

Here I tell a story from my own life and work that is pertinent today. Just the other day I was walking to meet my new boyfriend\u2026 Any new relationship is a delicate path, learning about each other, understanding the quirks and idiosyncrasies of our faces and lives. Though on this particular day I had a feeling that this was not the kind of meeting I wanted.\u00a0<\/p>

He\u2019d grown distant and aloof, the usual terms of endearment had faded from our exchanges. So I sensed this might be the end. The sun was shining there was blossom on the trees, though a sense of dread rumbled. I looked down at the path and there, laying discarded amongst the weeds was the glistening tail feather of a magpie, \u2018one for sorrow\u2019<\/strong> I thought to myself, so I picked it up.\u00a0<\/p>

I hoped I was wrong, was I being too sensitive about this beautiful man that was beginning to nestle into my life and routines? As soon as I saw his face, I knew. He was about to share the predictable platitudes that would reveal that our short-lived dalliance was complete. My reaction was not surprised, I was probably rude and definitely abrupt, battered and bruised as I was. Shock, regret and sorrow followed. I\u2019ll spare you the hours of wailing and despair. But once again I face that all too familiar period of loss and doubt. What did I do, am I too much, what can I learn, will I die alone? You know the usual things we all wrestle with when we\u2019ve been dumped.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>

\"arelr7iotihggk3cfdau48p0cqaqb4nhxmmq4zmdluq2wrin.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"This body of work has given me solace over the years and once again I turn to it, in my days of need. I sat and drew this feather, tears running down my face as I did. What is amazing about art is that the process of doing it can slightly alter your brain, you can access a part of it which is not usually available. I feel like this drawing was cathartic and healing, I\u2019m still bereft, though the experience calmed me.\u00a0<\/p>

\"neentdx2swhyyud25z4ldvlvrbbvw6bgmrenxg0bx0jfjqxr.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"And so I thought, this beautiful drawing is a piece of work that could be a card of condolence<\/u><\/a>. I love creating a relatively banal drawing and infusing it with a story and now this drawing is infused with my very own heartbreak. The drawing neatly placed next to the words \u2018one for sorrow\u2019 reference the famous rhyme and the blank interior allows the giver to write a personal message of support during a difficult time\u2026<\/p>

\"neentdx2swhyyud25z4ldvlvrbbvw6bgmrenxg0bx0jfjqxr.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"And it\u2019s on a tea towel!<\/u><\/a> (and now more things here<\/u><\/a>) though the tea towel and the other new designs do not have the quote, that would be just too maudlin. This I think is part of my coping mechanism, making light of a darkness that has always lingered in me. Despite my sunny disposition I am prone to extended periods of emotional flatness that I do not often share. Though here, in this context, I can, and perhaps my experiences may ease your own sense of despair, isolation and even loss.<\/p>

\"vowkaatf4ysootvxzguv4m45camdabtjbpfnilvokxcbb4gw.jpg.jpg?w=1140&v=2\"Long before before Birds Can Fly, I had explored the bird and feather in my work. Above left is a chair I drilled holes in which I then carefully inserted various feathers into, this was on my MA in Manchester School of Fine Art more than twenty years ago. I was making this domestic object unusable and uncanny. The wallpaper (right) was covered in images of birds cut out from magazines, pasted on wallpaper that was then put on the wall of my flat. Part of the first show at Apartment,<\/u><\/em><\/strong><\/a> an artist-led space I ran in Manchester with friend and fellow artist Hilary Jack<\/u><\/a> from 2005-2009.<\/p>

\"hkqh4ldfkwoslbcn78vhzdofmxqsgu660o2dmbucgyq7jony.jpg.jpg?w=1140&v=2\"It was for this first show that I explored the magpie. A precursor and inspiration for The Pansy Project<\/u><\/a> and connects to now in a rather uncanny way. One morning I awoke from a dream that I had found a dead magpie outside my flat. On my way to art school that morning the above is what I found. I picked it up, eventually placed it my freezer and later drew the magpie.<\/p>

On the launch day of Apartment I placed the magpie back where I found it. On the floor of the entrance way to my flat I placed the drawing and on my bed I placed a one minute long video of the dead magpie, I called \u2018One for Sorrow\u2019. This explored the notion of precognition and deja v\u00fa and invited the viewer to experience a sense that they\u2019d seen the magpie before. I called the three tiered piece \u2018I had a dream I found a magpie outside my flat, and then I did\u2019. When people were viewing the work I could see in their faces that they were remembering the magpie outside the flat and this inspired me.<\/p>

\"xex9ayl0ugxspditvxilb0wre7j32ky7nnbho26owhumevwv.jpg.jpg?w=1140&z=1.2000000000000002&fx=0.49864367221514044&fy=0.4418903606815819&v=2\"Later I would include an illustration of the magpie in my book Pansy Boy<\/u><\/a> and later still I gently referenced the same drawing.<\/p>

\"hfkjyp5iroe8xguj6zbbbvrj8x28cdjivcz6qlf6czpxulwb.jpg.jpg?w=1140&v=2\"What\u2019s even stranger for me is that ex-boyfriend, who shall remain nameless, had a strange feeling about magpies, I\u2019m too upset to remember what he said, though the coincidence struck me as he said it. The strange and unending presence of the magpie in my own life is both terrifying and comforting. I believe that this is part of how nature is a solace for us, even in the darkest of times. I\u2019ve been spending the last few days watching nature documentaries and staring out the window looking at the birds fly by. And I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll continue to, for as long as I live.<\/p>

If you\u2019ve read this far, then well done and thank you for taking the time. As ever my research and work continues.<\/p>

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